Dear Jared,

I just spent the holidays with my family, and it feels like they’re putting a lot of pressure on me and my husband to have children right now, but we don’t feel ready.

Every time they bring it up, I feel like shouting at the top of my lungs and I know that’s not the right way to respond.  But…my question is…what is the right way?

Thanks and Happy Holidays,

Paula


Hi Paula,

First, you need to confront your family on how they are making you feel.  You need to say something like:

“I feel like you are putting too much pressure on me, and it’s making me uncomfortable and upset.”

Most of the time, when people who love us find out they are hurting us, it inspires them to change their behavior.  The key is to focus more on your feelings and less on their behavior.  That way they won’t become defensive and argue their points – because it’s not about their
points – it’s about how their points make you feel.  Got it?

Good luck.  Happy Holidays.

Love you bye,

Jared

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